A couple of weeks ago I made a decision that I never thought I’d make: I cut my hair short. By short, I mean short by my standards. It’s currently right below my shoulders. I’ve had medium-long hair since around 2005 so this was a big deal. I’m known for having long hair. People always comment on how nice my long hair is. So why did I cut it off?
Well, many times someone will cut their hair after or during a major life moment. That’s kind of what happened to me this time.
Without going into my personal life too much, my father has been quite ill since 2015 but this year he seemed to be getting a tiny bit better--until August that is. In August dad’s health took a quick down-turn and September was, frankly, awful with 2 ambulance rides to the emergency room and countless doctor and specialist visits, which are still ongoing.
We’re still trying to figure it all out together as a small, but close family and we’re all stressed in different ways.
All this stress was the main reason why I decided to cut my hair. If I look at the situation we’re in, the bottom line is I just wanted to escape, and I wanted to be someone else. Someone completely different. Reality and responsibility and just general adulthood don’t really allow us to cry and run away when things are overwhelming. So, I did the next best thing and I gave my hair the chop.
Do I regret it? No.
Do I miss it? I have moments but, for the most part, no.
That being said, cutting my hair shorter made me also accept the fact that I’ve been hiding behind my hair. I think, subconsciously, I felt like if you’re focused on my pretty, long hair you won’t be focused on the fact that I’m a plus-sized gal.
Having long hair also made me feel younger. So, now that I have a shorter hair I’m feeling more my age but I don’t think that’s a bad thing, necessarily.
In the end, the thing that I wanted with this haircut—to be someone else—is actually coming to fruition, in a way. I’m not able to hide behind my hair anymore and, because of that, I’ve been trying to address some of my insecurities about my size and my age. I also feel strangely a bit more in control of the emotional rollercoaster I’ve been riding since August with my father’s illness. I’ve been feeling like I was at the end of my rope and emotionally spent. Now I feel like I’ve had a bit of an awakening, and like I’m in the right headspace again to keep moving forward. That change can be something I can handle.
All because I cut my hair.
Have you even given your hair the chop? Did you regret it? Did you learn anything about yourself?
Let me know in the comments, I’d love it if you shared your experience.